Your village

Dear Matthew

I wanted to share with you this beautiful paragraph on the importance of your friends, family and community when it comes to raising a baby:

“The most important thing to get for your baby is not a Rock n’ Play, nor a good set of swaddling blankets, nor a high-end stroller.  The most important thing to get for your baby is a village.  Your village will keep you afloat.  They will carry you when you are tired, feed you when you are starving, forgive you when you are unkempt and hours late and a neglectful friend who can’t remember to wear socks let alone whose birthday it is.  They will love your baby when you are too tired or frustrated to hold her at the moment, because you are imperfect and human and have imperfect and human failings.  They will remind you who you are when you start to think your whole life is only about poop.  They will lift you up.”

While you have been what they call a relatively 'easy' baby, I am forever indebted to everyone in our lives who has welcomed you, celebrated you and loved you. Without them your dad and I would be a mess. 

Your birth has cemented in my mind the need to stay close to loved ones, so I highly doubt we will ever live overseas, interstate or even an hour away from where we live now. Because the memories you make with the people who love you will be more important than any 'life skill' you will gain living away from them during your childhood. 

You can't recognise your village at the moment but let me assure you it is filled with loving, compassionate and generous people. And for that I am forever grateful. 

Love, 

Mum xxx

Your birth story

Dear Matthew

Time for your birth story! You already know the background to why we went in to have you induced, so I'll start from when we were driving to the hospital on Monday 21 October 2013. 

We were scheduled to arrive at St Mary's Ward at St John of God Hospital, Murdoch, at 3:30pm. I had done a lot of last minute cleaning that day, and even stopped at the dentist before heading to the hospital with your dad, as the wire along my bottom teeth had come lose a bit and needed to be refitted. The dental technician was a bit shocked when I said we were heading to the hospital after seeing her!

As we were driving in, your Nanna called and said that your aunty Chantel was in labour!  We couldn't believe it- it seemed as if at this point you and your cousin Harrison were going to be born on the same day, or just a day apart! It was at this point that we realised that we couldn't keep your induction a secret and told your Nanna that we were at the hospital to be induced (and later called your Grandma and Gramps to tell them too!). 

After heading up to the ward we met our lovely midwife friend Mel and headed over to delivery suite 1 to be prepped for inducement. Dr Greenland, our obstetrician, met us after a little while and inserted what he called a 'soap on a rope' which would hopefully get my cervix to start dialating. 

We were then taken back to the maternity ward and given our room for the night- room 1313! We were told we could go for a walk to hopefully get things moving if we wanted so we climbed some of the internal stairs of the hospital then headed outside for a quick walk around. The sun was setting and it was absolutely gorgeous, so your dad and I took a few photos to remember the last night before you joined the family. 

We were then given dinner and told to rest as it could have potentially been a long night. Your poor dad had to sleep on a horrible fold out bed as I wasn't allowed to sleep in the same bed due to the 'soap on a rope'. We watched a movie then tried to get some sleep, although it was difficult as the midwives were doing obs on both you and me very frequently throughout the night. 

Morning eventually came round and by seven o'clock we were back in the delivery suite. Unfortunately I hadn't felt any contractions during the night and once Dr Greenland examined me (with the help of some awesome gas!) it was found that I hadn't dilated at all, so I was booked in for a caesarian. 

I was then prepped for surgery by the midwife and I guess I went into a bit of shock as I hadn't mentally prepared for a caesarian at all and it was my last choice of way to give birth. Down in the prep area for surgery I started to cry as I felt like a failure for not being able to give birth to you vaginally. Dr Greenland tried to comfort me and understood that I was disappointed but that the main aim was to get you out safe. Little did I know that his decision to have a caesarian really was going to save your life. 

So I was wheeled into the operating theatre and the anaesthetist inserted the spinal block. I was then laid down very quickly and a curtain put up so me and your dad couldn't see what was happening. Your dad sat on a chair near my head to the right of me the whole time. The anaesthetist started cracking jokes and after a few minutes said to us 'you know they've started?', which was a shock because I didn't feel a thing! I guess that's the point :)

Anyway after a few minutes we were told we were about to hear you cry as they pulled you out. At first we just heard a few little whimpers and then when you were pulled out we heard your strong lungs and voice so we knew you were safe and healthy. You were put straight near my face so we could see and touch you for a short while, then the paediatrician had a quick look over you, and your dad was able to cut your umbilical cord to its shorter length.  You were then wrapped up super tight and handed you back to your dad and me for cuddles. It was an amazing moment- different to what I had imagined in my head but perfect nonetheless. Your dad tells me he cried, but I was just smiling and talking to you as I couldn't believe this beautiful little boy was ours.

While we were looking at you Dr Greenland showed us the longer length of the umbilical cord which had obviously come out with the placenta- and in it was a definite knot. I was shocked but didn't actually realise until Michelle, our midwife, said that we were lucky we didn't go down the vaginal birth pathway as the knot could have tightened and blocked off your oxygen supply as you were passing through the vaginal canal. Dr Greenland agreed and said he only saw knots like that every couple of years and that my abnormal blood pressure and protein in the urine, which led to me having a caesarian, was natures way of keeping you safe. It was then that I was truly grateful for how things had turned out, even though they weren't part of the plan in my head. 

After I was stitched up we were taken back to the recovery room and Michelle helped me breastfeed you for the first time. You were and have been since then a very good feeder, I'm very lucky that you latched on straight away and sucked strongly. It was great to be feeding you, but as I said to your dad at the time, it would have been nice to be able to feel my legs too! 

After a short while we got to take you back to our room and just enjoyed the special time as a new family of three. As I couldn't stand up yet, your dad was taught how to change your nappy and wrap you up nice and tight. I watched on, proud of both my boys. 

In the evening your Grandma, Gramps, aunty Robyn and uncle Andrew came to visit, followed by your dads side of the family the next day, then extended family and friends. Everyone agreed you were a gorgeous baby with beautiful olive skin and dark blue eyes. We had a bit of trouble trying to figure out who you looked like (all I could lay claim to at this stage was your long fingers and toes and your longer-than-first second toe). 

I recovered relatively well from the caesarian, although I did suffer from should tip pain, which is referred pain in my shoulders, and a rash on my back from the antiseptic that was put on my skin before the spinal tap. Overall though I did well and we were able to leave the hospital early (which your dad was grateful for given he was experiencing a bit of cabin fever). 

Welcome Matty!

Dear Matthew

Well, you're finally here! I am writing this post with you passed out in my arms, milk drunk after a feed. It's been a few weeks since I last posted and that's because your dad and I have been busy getting to know you!

I won't tell your birth story in this post (it was quite eventful!) but I will tell you about you. 

You are divine. My precious baby boy, you have made the transition to motherhood so very easy. You feed and sleep so well, have a beautiful temperament and make your dad and I smile and laugh every day. We are so very lucky to have you as our first born, especially given karma could have really hurt us, as apparently I was a devil child!

You make these little 'ahh' sounds when you're content that make my heart melt. You have the most gorgeous olive skin and amazing blue eyes. I cannot believe that I helped bake you, you are so perfect. 

Everyone who holds you says you are so calm and happy. You very rarely cry and when you do you can be comforted very quickly. 

I never really understood the 'overwhelming love' thing that parents would talk about in relation to their kids, but I totally get it now. 

I know we will have our ups and downs in the years to come, but please know that I will always love you. My darling Matthew, I am so blessed to be your mum. I love you with all my heart baby boy. 

Love, 

Mum xxx

Your first Facebook photo :)

You're almost here!

Dear Matthew

Today, Sunday 20 October 2013, is your due date! Your dad and I are very excited that we get to meet you soon!

No one knows it yet but at a check up last Friday your doctor was concerned about my blood pressure, as it was mildly above normal, so we've decided to start inducing you tomorrow afternoon with the hope that you'll arrive sometime on Tuesday. The reason we're doing this is to prevent me developing pre-eclampsia, which would be very bad for the both of us. I would have liked to go into labour naturally but our safety is of course what's important. 

As we haven't decided to tell anyone (we want everyone, even your grandparents, to be surprised) we have had to tell a few lies and I may not make this post public until next weekend when we're home with you :)

The benefits of knowing when we'll meet you are that we are able to make sure everything in place, your dad has organised everything at work so that he can have 2 weeks off without having to go in at any point and we have a good story put together as to why your Grandma and Gramps need to come pick up Soda tomorrow night. 

This morning I had a few cuddles with Pepper and Soda- it's as if they too know that you're on the way and wanted to sneak in some last minute peaceful Sunday morning cuddles! See below! 

Can't wait for our first cuddles, probably in about 50 hours from now :) I hope you know that we love you very much and can't wait to start our next adventure with you. 

Love,

Mum xxx