Dear Matthew
A couple of weekends ago we took a trip to Jarradale as my work friend was celebrating his 40th birthday at a retreat in Serpentine so we decided to make a weekend of it and stay overnight at a bed and breakfast.
We arrived in the afternoon and settled in at Jim and Kerry's (get it? If not you need to watch the Ace Ventura movies) bed and breakfast before heading off to the party. Unfortunately you hadn't slept all day so it wasn't long before you passed out in my arms and we headed back to the B and B (via the pub for some takeaway fish and chips as while the booze was flowing at the party the same couldn't be said for the food). You randomly woke at 4am for an hour but luckily you were in a good mood (you kept covering your legs with the blanket and then pulled the blanket away while exclaiming 'LEGS!!') and didn't wake the owners or other guests.
The next morning we had breakfast, said goodbye to our hosts and headed to the Cahuna Koala Park in Byford. The weather all weekend had been pretty miserable so we literally had the park to ourselves and luckily had blue skies for the pocket of time we were there.
You had a fantastic time at the park, my favourite moments being:
1. When we first arrived you got to feed the ponies which you were confident and happy to do.
2. When you fed a donkey some popcorn and it engulfed your entire hand you didn't freak out. The same could not be said for your mum.
3. You loved going up to all the kangaroos and got down to their level at times to have a grand old chat.
4. You splashed in muddy puddles all around the park and gave your parents a good laugh when you stacked it in the biggest one. Thank goodness for spare clothes :)
After the park we headed home, so it was a quick but very fun weekend away.
Thank you for being the joyful little boy that you are. We love you so much. You made the weekend so enjoyable with your eagerness, your inquisitive nature and your go with the flow personality.
Love,
Mum xxx
Dear Matthew
Today I sucked at being a good mum. While we had a good time at gymbakids and had a visit from friends, when the time came to put you to bed I failed miserably.
It was your bed time (approximately of course because we just follow your cues normally) and so you said goodnight to daddy and off you and I went to bed. I usually breast feed you to sleep and to keep myself awake and occupied through what can be an hour long process I usually look at my phone throughout the feed. But I'd forgotten my phone so I yelled out to your dad three times but didn't get an answer. The fourth yell was really loud and eventually he came to the room where I said I had been yelling because I needed my phone and hated that he'd been ignoring me. He said he hadn't been ignoring me, he just couldn't hear me. I said that seems impossible considering the tiny house we live in and the volume of my yells but that I needed my phone in any case. So off he went to get it and closed the door after himself. You freaked at him leaving the room and started crying and walking towards the door. Your dad had grabbed my phone from the living room at this point and was heading back to the bedroom. However I thought he had heard your cries so was aware you were near the door. But he didn't. And he opened it and it slammed tight into your face and body. I freaked and ran to you and picked you up. You physically seemed fine but were sort of shaking and dry-crying if that makes sense. And for the next hour and a half all you wanted was your daddy.
I feel horrible that I didn't just get up to get my phone.
I feel horrible that I yelled out to your dad while trying to get you to sleep.
I fel horrible that I didn't warn him that you are behind the door and that he should open it gently.
But most of all I feel horrible that I didn't just take the opportunity to enjoy the process of helping you to sleep without feeling I needed my phone there to distract me. All your pain that eventuated could have been avoided had I just cuddled you for however long you needed, without feeling like I had to check Facebook simultaneously.
I'm so sorry I failed you today.
I will try and be better tomorrow.
I love you.
Mum xxx
