Dear Matthew and Toby
As of this coming Tuesday I'm going to be back at work - my maternity leave will be over. I'm overwhelmingly sad about this; I would so love to stay home for a bit longer with you both. I've had the same amount of time off that I had the first time round (Matt you were also 11 months old when I went back), but this time it has seemed to have zoomed by, with doubly as many beautiful boys to keep me busy.
I hope you don't look back and resent me going to work. I hope you see that your mum tried to strike a balance, working part time, studying part time and trying to be as involved in your lives as much as I could. I hope you see a mum who worked hard for her family and one who was also ensuring that when her family was grown up that she had a fulfilling career waiting for her because she'd managed to keep her foot in the door the whole time. I hope you acknowledge that I am more than just 'mum', that I'm educated, determined and purposeful. I also hope that if you do get upset at the fact that I work that you remember that your dad also works, and is never asked how he balances it all.
Speaking of your dad - your two are so very lucky to have him take over for the next five weeks before your grandparents then take over on the days I'm working. I know you will all enjoy this time. No doubt there will be ups and downs, good days and bad, but it will strengthen your bonds and hopefully give some insight into our lives over the past year.
I will admit I'm anxious about the end of my maternity leave, but I'm grateful that Toby's development had been at lightening speed so I've easily witnessed each and every 'first'. It has been an honour and joy to spend this year getting to know and love my second little boy, and spending more time with my first. I guess I'm just concerned about how long it's going to take to establish a 'new normal' and not getting to sleep in, meet with friends and pop up to the shops like we do so easily now. Life is about to get a whole lot more full. But no matter how full it gets, you two will always come first.
Love you boys,
Mum xxx
Dear Matthew and Toby
Back in March we were fortunate enough to be invited to my cousin Kirsty's wedding to her girlfriend Amber. Kirsty and Amber have been together nearly 20 years so there was no way I could pass up seeing them tie the knot after Australia finally changed the marriage laws allowing anyone to marry who they want.
So last week we headed up to Darwin to celebrate them getting hitched. We left on the Thursday and us three braved the flight alone (your dad stayed behind to look after Soda and because he's taking a lot of leave soon when I go back to work next week). You were both brilliant on the flight- Toby you slept for most of it and Matt you watched Netflix/played with your new transformer toy. Some teenage girls across the aisle from us wanted to hold you Toby for ages so that helped too!
When we arrived in Darwin Ma Ma and Gumps were there to greet us at the airport and after a quick change into your summer clothes we made our way to the hire car. We loaded it up and drove around the city for a little while (Toby you fell asleep again so we took advantage of this and tried to get our bearings). We drove past the war museum and bomb shelters from World War II and ended up at the Mindil Markets where we were meeting all our other extended family members who were also going to the wedding for dinner. The markets were amazing, Matt you held some awesome animals (a snake again of course!) and went on the jumpy castle with my cousin Libby. I had crocodile tacos for tea before we enjoyed some time watching the sunset on the beach. Toby, as you will see from the photos below, you absolutely loved the beach and at one point face planted it into the sand, covering your face with it.
We then headed back to the 'frat house' - the house we were sharing with 8 other family members in Palmerston, about half an hour south of Darwin. The next day we drove back to Darwin city for a visit to Crocosaurus Cove, the crocodile park. Matt you got to fish for miniature crocs, hold yet another snake and you both had photos holding a baby croc. My favourite part of the day was during the reptile presentation when Matt you randomly yelled out that your mummy had a baby in her tummy! Also when we first rocked up and they were just starting the crocodile talk you yelled at everyone to check out the crocodiles... just in case they hadn't already noticed the 900kg crocs in the cages right in front of them. Classic :)
In the evening we went to the local Humpty Doo golf club for dinner with everyone else attending the wedding and Matt you played with your second cousins/first cousins once removed (I can never remember - my cousins' kids anyway) on the playground.
The next day was the wedding day so we all prettied ourselves up and headed over to the property in the afternoon. The ceremony was just beautiful, many tears were shed given the time the couple had been together and the hard fight they'd put in to get to this day. I'm so glad you both won't remember a time before marriage equality and that for you Matt, this may be your first memory of a wedding. It was so wonderful to witness their love, and it was followed by an incredible party, complete with drag queens, face painting and a cake with a rainbow loveheart inside it. Matt you partied and danced the night away, and Toby you were captivated by all that was going on. It was an amazing night.
The next day we kept it low key, just visiting the campsite on Kirsty and Amber's property to show my Aunty Julie the family quilt, made from patches put together six years by different family members (including me) in memory of my grandma (Joy Haynes). It was great to see it all together - it is a real Haynes family heirloom.
On the Monday we flew home after having a quick walk around the city of Darwin to get some tacky souvenirs for your dad and enjoyed a half empty plane. Toby you slept for over 2 hours and played games with your grandparents who were in the seats behind us. Matt you loved the games on the iPad (you are so easy to travel with now!). An older man even commented on the way off the plane how well behaved you were Toby - you're both superstars in my books.
Anyway it was an awesome holiday and I now hold many special memories from it in my mind and my heart forever.
Love you boys,
Mum xxx
