As of this coming Tuesday I'm going to be back at work - my maternity leave will be over. I'm overwhelmingly sad about this; I would so love to stay home for a bit longer with you both. I've had the same amount of time off that I had the first time round (Matt you were also 11 months old when I went back), but this time it has seemed to have zoomed by, with doubly as many beautiful boys to keep me busy.
I hope you don't look back and resent me going to work. I hope you see that your mum tried to strike a balance, working part time, studying part time and trying to be as involved in your lives as much as I could. I hope you see a mum who worked hard for her family and one who was also ensuring that when her family was grown up that she had a fulfilling career waiting for her because she'd managed to keep her foot in the door the whole time. I hope you acknowledge that I am more than just 'mum', that I'm educated, determined and purposeful. I also hope that if you do get upset at the fact that I work that you remember that your dad also works, and is never asked how he balances it all.
Speaking of your dad - your two are so very lucky to have him take over for the next five weeks before your grandparents then take over on the days I'm working. I know you will all enjoy this time. No doubt there will be ups and downs, good days and bad, but it will strengthen your bonds and hopefully give some insight into our lives over the past year.
I will admit I'm anxious about the end of my maternity leave, but I'm grateful that Toby's development had been at lightening speed so I've easily witnessed each and every 'first'. It has been an honour and joy to spend this year getting to know and love my second little boy, and spending more time with my first. I guess I'm just concerned about how long it's going to take to establish a 'new normal' and not getting to sleep in, meet with friends and pop up to the shops like we do so easily now. Life is about to get a whole lot more full. But no matter how full it gets, you two will always come first.
Love you boys,
Mum xxx
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