Losing Pepper

 Dear Matthew, Toby and Josie,

We recently we said goodbye to our beautiful Pepper. We adopted Peppy at 12 weeks old and had 12 wonderful years with her. As a kitten she was always climbing the curtains, the Christmas tree, you name it- I think it was the bengal in her. She was a peace-maker, never getting into fights, rarely even going outside, instead she spent most of her days curled up on a bed or in a wardrobe somewhere. This will be what I miss the most, her constant companionship, especially when I was so very lonely in the early day of parenting or inevitably anytime I’ve been stuck with a baby asleep on me. She was always my study buddy late into the night as I worked with a laptop on my lap in bed, surrounded by sleeping kids. When it was cold she would always find her way under the covers at night to cuddle in close or scare us to death during the day by sleeping under a mound of blankets that we’d suddenly see moving. She let you all ‘play’ with her as toddlers and you loved her dearly, as did we all. Josie, she was even your first word. She showed her love by head-butting us and had a way of meowing without even opening her mouth. I always said she smelt like magic and her fur was the softest I’ve ever felt, especially behind her ears. We will miss you so much Peppercorn, thank you for loving on us and we hope you know how much we loved you too 💕

I have really struggled losing Pepper and I hope you have all seen my grief. It is so important to hold space for people grieving, no matter whether they lose a loved one, a pet, a relationship, a home, a job etc. Grief is grief and it shouldn't be hidden. It should be welcomed and sat with. For it is only through being with grief are you able to fully grieve. Little by little things will feel a tiny bit easier (although the grief will never ever fully go away). I hope you all ask people how they are going with their grief, while looking them in the eye. Please don't shy away from it - the greatest gift you can give someone is to sit with them during this time. Trying to forget it happened won't make it go away. Please don't be afraid to 'go there' with people in their time of need. Matt you asked me why I was crying and I told you it's because I missed Pepper and you seemed satisfied with that - I hope you remember that it's always ok to cry when you miss someone you love.

The saying goes that grief is just love with no where to go, and that is exactly how I feel about losing our beautiful Pepper. Josie you continue to use her name to describe any cat you see and I will never correct you, because I want to remember her forever. 

Love you all, 

Mum xxx

P.S. See my Instagram for photos of you all as babies with beautiful Pep Pep.