To my first baby

Dear Matthew

This will be my last post to just you, my beautiful firstborn. I am currently almost 10 days post my estimated due date with your sibling so no doubt in the next four or five days we will no longer be a little family of three.

I want you to know how loved you are. I want you to know how coming home after work to be greeted by you is the best part of my day. I want you to know that you bring so much meaning to my life, more than I could have ever imagined.

I hope this next phase of your life, where you become a big brother, is a time of happiness. No doubt we will have our ups and downs as we try to find a new normal and adjust to having a newborn in the house but I hope that at the end of the day, you still feel cherished and loved. Because you always are and always will be.

I hope you see your sibling as the greatest gift we could even give you, to share your childhood with, to experience life with and to remember your parents with when we're no longer around. They say siblings are the longest friends you'll even have - and I hope it's so very true for you and the little one in my tummy.

Know you have been our greatest blessing and I thank the universe everyday that we were chosen to be your parents.

Love you,

Mum xxxxx

A park, a fair, the beach and lunch!

Dear Matthew

 

Last weekend your dad didn't have to play soccer so we had a great family weekend altogether. On the Saturday we visited Brathwaite Park which has a great nature based playground. You loved exploring and although the weather wasn't brilliant it didn't put you off.

 

On the Sunday however the weather was magnificent, which was lucky as we visited a fair where your cousin Mikayla was performing a gymnastics routine. You got to pat a camel and eat a yummy ice cone. You and Harry also enjoyed dancing/wrestling together. We then went to Hillary's with Aunty Chantel, Andrew, Nanna and Darryl and you enjoyed building a sandcastle before we all had a yummy lunch together in one of the restaurants.

 

It was a really lovely weekend and you took the opportunity to talk to everyone, asking all sorts of questions (you have really come out of your shell all of a sudden!). It's beautiful to watch you being so engaged with family members and strangers alike :)

 

Love you my little chatterbox,

 

Mum xxx 

 

 

 

 

 

 

38+3

Dear Keene kids

 

I'm currently typing this during my lunch break on my last day or work before going on parental leave. I'm 38+3 weeks and feeling great, apart from having put on over 20kg already! I wanted to write this post in anticipation of what's going to happen in the next few weeks.

 

After Matt's birth didn't go as I'd hoped (we were of course grateful that you were born healthy and happy Machu), I suffered a lot of trauma. It was difficult for me to explain this to people because I had a perfect little son in my arms and I was recovering from the caesarean nicely. However I was so upset at the lack of control or say I had in what had happened to my own body and the long term ramifications of Matt being born via surgery and not naturally that I fell into a deep depression. Thankfully after almost three years of struggling with the thought of 'what if' I sought counselling and am in a much better place.

 

I have spent the last (almost) four years researching how to prevent this happening again with your birth, Baby Keene. I can't guarantee that you won't be born by caesarean too, but you will NOT be forced out of my tummy unless there is a true medical emergency and I give the go ahead. I have a feeling the support team we have this time will make for an entirely different experience, and the knowledge and convictions I hold will make up for any rabbit holes that may appear.

 

Matt, I'm sorry you didn't get the happy and healthy mum that you deserved. I'm sorry you may have health problems in the future because you didn't get the benefits to your gut of a vaginal birth. I hope our 3.5 years of breastfeeding has helped but I have no way of knowing. I'm sorry you, as our first born, have born the brunt of our naivety as first-time parents. The gift in this is that you have given your sibling a strong chance of having a better start, so you are already an amazing big brother.

 

Baby Keene, I'm waiting patiently for you to choose your birthday. You will not be rushed out and you will not have any deadlines put on you. I trust you to let me know when you're ready to come earth-side and I trust my body to keep you safe until then. The universe knows when you'll be here, for it is already written in the stars. I am sure we are going to make an awesome team and will absolutely ROCK your birth!!

 

 

 

Love you my babies,

Mum xxx

Blessingway

 

Dear Keene kids,

 

On Sunday we celebrated you, baby Keene! My friend Nat hosted a blessingway for you at her house. It was only small, my nearest and dearest girlfriends/family members coming together to celebrate you joining our family soon.

 

Matt and Charlie (Nat's almost 2 year old son) loved playing together, and even got into her chicken coup at one point! It was so cute! Matt I have no idea how you managed to get into the chicken's area as the gate was closed but you and Charlie were clearly very stealth!

 

I had my tummy painted by the lovely Nat and baby Keene, you moved the whole time which made it very fun to watch. Nat even painted Matt's face as a tiger, which he loved. I've got some beautiful memories from the morning and I'm so pleased we were able to celebrate you in the same way we celebrated Matt.

 

You're due to join us in about two weeks baby Keene, although I think you'll be hanging around for probably another four (I just have this feeling). I predict your birthday as 1 September, a Spring bubba, or some day soon after that. It's going to take a lot of strength for me to remember that you are perfectly fine where you are, and that it's very important to me that you get to choose your birthday.

 

I've got three days left of work before we can all relax together, and Matt and I can enjoy some mummy-son time before you join us baby Keene.

 

Love you both,

 

Mum xxx