Big boy seat

Dear Matthew

A few weeks ago you grew out of your capsule seat so we upgraded you to a forward facing, big boy car seat. 

I had visions of you smiling and laughing now that you weren't rearward facing during every car ride... But things are pretty much the same when we go I'm the car- you hate it. Oh well, we tried! 

What did make me smile was taking these awesome photos of you, especially the one of you in your big boy seat, you're really rocking the arm rests!

Love, 

Mum xxx

Your first Easter

Dear Matthew

Last month we celebrated your first Easter. 

We had dinner with the Constables on Easter Saturday and lunch with your dads family on Easter Sunday. While you didn't have any chocolate this year, next year you may get a couple! I'll also begin some special Easter traditions such as an Easter egg hunt with your Easter basket (I think you're inheriting uncle Andrews one that grandma decorated when we were little) and powdered Easter bunny footprints. These traditions are passed down from grandma and gramps and always made my Easter extra special, so I'm looking forward to bringing the magic to your Easter that I was lucky enough to experience. 

Love, 

Mum xxx

#wearallthebabies

Dear Matthew

Without realising it, I practise attachment parenting with you. This means I breastfeed on demand (and will breastfeed until you decide to wean), I baby carry and I bed share with you. I don't agree with letting you ever 'cry it out' and I regret the money we spent on your baby prison (your crib, which thankfully turns into a toddler bed so isn't a total waste). 

I didn't realise just how instinctual parenting is. Parenting books are a waste of time and money. The only guide a parent needs is their heart and what their gut is telling them.

I love the way I get to cuddle you to sleep and that you fall asleep while breastfeeding (I was told by midwives to never let this happen, when in fact it's the biological norm). I'm not going to change what I'm doing, I'm not making a rod for my own back. To the contrary, I'm showing you just how important you are. And, to me, you are the most important thing on this earth. 

I think you can thank your grandparents for this- grandma and gramps were very much the same with their parenting style (no baby wearing but cloth nappies!). Hopefully it means you can trust your mum and dad to always be there for you, which, ironically, will make you independent. Because that is our job- to smother you with love so that you can, one day, take on the big wide world with the knowledge that no matter what, we are your safe haven. 

Love,

Mum xxx

My tips for new mummies

Dear Matthew

Yesterday you turned six months! How the time has flown! I'm so lucky to your mum, to experience your love each and every day. 

I've learnt a few things about being a mum, and thought I'd pass them on to you and your future sibling (whenever he or she comes along) in this blog in the form of a letter to new mummies. So here goes. 

Dear sweet mum,

Firstly, know that you are loved. Even if you don't feel it, you are loved. 

Most importantly, know that your baby loves you, even if you have not yet started to love your baby. Be gentle on yourself. Love can grow and I promise you it will. Give yourself time (at least until you receive the most precious gift of your baby's first smile). 

You will not lose yourself. You will just be buried under nappies, onesies, car seats, bouncers, change mats, doctors appointments and sweet baby breath for a little while. Slowly you will return, but you will be a little different. That is ok. Change is good. Look at your baby and know that life is better now. 

Breastfeeding is hard. Over supply, under supply, inverted nipples, embarrassment, engorgement, baby growth spurts, pumps. I hated it to start with. It was not beautiful, it was crap. And I had no issues and a hugely supportive family. If you are finding it hard, perservere to eight weeks if you can as this is when things usually start to change. Now it's the best thing, and is, in fact, beautiful. 

But. If you can't breastfeed, you are NOT a failure. You are doing what you can. Do not feel guilty. Nothing is ever perfect. I felt like a failure for not giving birth vaginally, even though my caesarian saved two lives. Forgive yourself for feeling guilty and look into those baby eyes and know that it will be ok. 

People who matter do it care how messy your house is. The same people do care how happy you are, and in turn how happy your baby is. They do not ask you if you need help, they just give it. Accept this help, be it in the form of dinner, breastfeeding biscuits, dishes cleaned or simply having the baby held while you shower. And hold those people in your heart. Remember them, and rerurn the favours if you can when they need help in the future, without them asking. 

Always be kind. Especially to your baby's mother. What looks like a massive mountain one month may turn into a molehill the next. Give yourself time. 

You will accomplish many great (though seemingly insignificant) things. Your confidence will grow. And then, one day, you will always know what to do and you will be indestructible. 

You are your baby's champion. Your voice is necessary to keep them safe, to ensure they are given the attention they require by medical professionals and to utter the magic words 'this is not usual for my child'. If a medical professional does not take that statement seriously, find someone else who will. 

You will have a wealth of knowledge before you, read what you can handle, balance the outcomes and choose what you want to do. You do not need to apologise if you formula feed/co-sleep/capsule carry/sleep your baby on its tummy. This is your baby. Don't be reckless 

Solids for my baby!

Dear Matthew

Last week we gave in and gave you your first taste of solids!

We started with wholemeal rice cereal and by the end of the week you had tried banana, sweet potato, pumpkin, sweet corn, beef and chicken (all puréed of course). 

I also gave you a rusk which you devoured urgently the first time but are yet to like one since. 

When you had the rice cereal on its own you weren't a big fan but combined with banana or breast milk you liked it, and every other food you scoffed down! To the point where you were grabbing the spoon from my hand and shoving it in your mouth! 

I'm so glad you're a good eater, it is going to make life much easier and you are going to be able to experience some amazing flavours! 

Again, I'm sad you're no longer needing breast milk exclusively but glad you're growing into a healthy, independent little boy. 

It's also wonderful that your dad can now join in with your feeds, I think he really likes it. 

Love, 

Mum xxx

Your first certificate

Dear Matthew

Last week was your final class of Gymbaroo for the term and at the end of the class you received your first certificate!

Gymbaroo has been a lot of fun, especially given half the class is made up of mums and bubs from mothers group. It's been a great bonding experience and has given me tons of exercises to do with you at home. I also learnt a lot about babies' vestibular systems and what actually helps babies develop (I freaked the first time we were asked to turn you upside down but you loved it and started laughing). 

We have signed you up again for next term. We are also going to keep going to rhyme time at the library, swimming (probably at Fremantle Pool once we finish up at the physio hydrotherapy pool next week) and meeting up with mothers group. We have also been looking into a play group but I'm not sure whether we're going to go ahead with that one given its probably going to be held on a day I will eventually be working so it might not be worthwhile paying the large joining fee, we'll just have to see. 

Anyway, I'm super proud of you! Great work little boy on finishing term 1 :)

Love, 

Mum xxx