Yesterday you turned six months! How the time has flown! I'm so lucky to your mum, to experience your love each and every day.
I've learnt a few things about being a mum, and thought I'd pass them on to you and your future sibling (whenever he or she comes along) in this blog in the form of a letter to new mummies. So here goes.
Dear sweet mum,
Firstly, know that you are loved. Even if you don't feel it, you are loved.
Most importantly, know that your baby loves you, even if you have not yet started to love your baby. Be gentle on yourself. Love can grow and I promise you it will. Give yourself time (at least until you receive the most precious gift of your baby's first smile).
You will not lose yourself. You will just be buried under nappies, onesies, car seats, bouncers, change mats, doctors appointments and sweet baby breath for a little while. Slowly you will return, but you will be a little different. That is ok. Change is good. Look at your baby and know that life is better now.
Breastfeeding is hard. Over supply, under supply, inverted nipples, embarrassment, engorgement, baby growth spurts, pumps. I hated it to start with. It was not beautiful, it was crap. And I had no issues and a hugely supportive family. If you are finding it hard, perservere to eight weeks if you can as this is when things usually start to change. Now it's the best thing, and is, in fact, beautiful.
But. If you can't breastfeed, you are NOT a failure. You are doing what you can. Do not feel guilty. Nothing is ever perfect. I felt like a failure for not giving birth vaginally, even though my caesarian saved two lives. Forgive yourself for feeling guilty and look into those baby eyes and know that it will be ok.
People who matter do it care how messy your house is. The same people do care how happy you are, and in turn how happy your baby is. They do not ask you if you need help, they just give it. Accept this help, be it in the form of dinner, breastfeeding biscuits, dishes cleaned or simply having the baby held while you shower. And hold those people in your heart. Remember them, and rerurn the favours if you can when they need help in the future, without them asking.
Always be kind. Especially to your baby's mother. What looks like a massive mountain one month may turn into a molehill the next. Give yourself time.
You will accomplish many great (though seemingly insignificant) things. Your confidence will grow. And then, one day, you will always know what to do and you will be indestructible.
You are your baby's champion. Your voice is necessary to keep them safe, to ensure they are given the attention they require by medical professionals and to utter the magic words 'this is not usual for my child'. If a medical professional does not take that statement seriously, find someone else who will.
You will have a wealth of knowledge before you, read what you can handle, balance the outcomes and choose what you want to do. You do not need to apologise if you formula feed/co-sleep/capsule carry/sleep your baby on its tummy. This is your baby. Don't be reckless
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