A metaphorical bag of poo

Dear Matthew, Toby and Josie

I'm acutely aware that a lot of what I post on this blog to you is very upbeat and doesn't always show the wonderful slog that life can sometimes be, with it's not so nice parts dispersed between it's Kodak moments. In the interest of keeping it real, I've included a copy of an Instagram post I did recently below:

I’ve been told I look tired a lot lately. I reflected on this and realised it may be because in the last year:

I required surgery from a third degree tear following an unmedicated birth. Josie had colic and hated the car for 9 months so I had chronic anxiety. She had a frenectomy at 5 weeks old. At 2 months old I had terrible gastro and could barely hold her. Toby took three trips to the ER, firstly for shoving a piece of Lego up his nose, then being attacked by a swarm of bees and then for a fractured skull and bleeding on the brain. We were all sick over Christmas so missed seeing some extended family. We put multiple offers on houses and when finally accepted, our discharging bank delayed settlement leaving us almost homeless. We prepared our old place for lease and said goodbye to our cat who was adopted by a neighbour. Soda was hit by a car and had a severe reaction to eating grapes. Neil’s beautiful grandfather passed away. Matt experienced anxiety, sleep issues and was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. Toby is being assessed for sensory processing issues. Both cars broke down. Our trip to the Gold Coast was cancelled. A suspicious mole was cut out of my back. Most of my work colleagues quit or took a redundancy. At home, I managed 3 types of therapies, 6 extra-curriculars and 5 types of medical appointments. We had 3 lockdowns, 2 in a tiny duplex. So yeah. Tired, exhausted.

But there’s also been a lot of good: I had a natural birth and a daughter. We moved to a bigger house and we took some holidays to Mandurah. The boys both landed extraordinary teachers. Josie has thrived. I got HDs in 2 Masters units and got asked to record a presentation for future students to watch. We safely celebrated all our birthdays, Christmas and Easter with friends and family during a global pandemic. And we have constantly had love and support. All this to say, some seasons are harder than others, but joy can still be found. To anyone else who may also be trying to smile on the outside, but really they’re carrying around a bag of poo, please know you are not alone and will get through this, even if you look a little tired in the process 💜

Love you all, 

Mum xxx